Your Keys To Jannah Your Parents.

All religions and all societies have given parents an honorable status. From a purely material viewpoint, we find ourselves indebted to our parents, particularly our mother. She not only nourished us in her womb, but went through pain and suffering. She loved us even before we were born. She toiled when we were totally helpless infants. She spent sleepless nights caring for us. Our parents as a team provided for all our needs: physical, educational, psychological, and in many instances, religious, moral, and spiritual.

Our indebtedness to our parents is so immense that it is not possible to repay it fully. In lieu of this, it becomes obligatory for us to show the utmost kindness, respect, and obedience to our parents. The position of parents, and the mutual obligations and responsibilities, have been addressed in Islam in great detail. The Qur’anic commandments, as well as the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) guide us in this matter. The parent-child code of behavior in Islam is unique, since rules were laid down by divine command.

References to parents have been made at least 15 times in the Holy Qur’an. There are numerous traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) on this subject. I will first quote some of the Qur’anic verses here:

“And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents. In travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in two years was his weaning. Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is thy final goal.” (Quran 31:14)

According to the above verse, gratitude to God and to parents go hand in hand. Gratitude to God is incomplete without showing gratitude to one’s parents. Since being grateful to God is a form of ibadah (worship) which earns heavenly rewards, it can therefore be said that being grateful to one’s parents also earns heavenly rewards.

“Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or more attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, “my Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood.” (Quran 17: 23-24)

“We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth.” (Quran 46:15)

Thus, God has enjoined on us to show kindness, respect, and humility to our parents. We are commanded to do this, even though they may have injured us. The only exception to the above command is made in the following verse:

“We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; but if they strive (to force) thee to join with Me anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not.” (Quran 29:8)

Some of the traditions of Prophet Muhammad, and of the learned members of his family, about our responsibilities toward our parents are quoted here:

“Paradise lies under the feet of the mother.”

“God’s pleasure is in the pleasure of the father, and God’s displeasure is in the displeasure of the father.”

“He who wishes to enter Paradise through its best door must please his parents.”

“It is a pity that some people may not attain Paradise, on account of not serving their old parents.”

“If a person looks with love at his parents, God writes in his favor the reward equal to the performance of one Hajj.”

[Someone asked, “will this promise be good if one looks at his parents one hundred times a day?” The Holy Prophet (pbuh) replied, “even if one does so a hundred thousand times a day, God gives the reward accordingly.”]

“A man or woman is bound to be good to his or her parents, even though they may have injured him or her.”

Imam Ja’far al-Sadiq (r.a.), the great-great-grandson of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is reported to have quoted Imam ‘Ali (ra) that, “disobedience to parents is a major sin.” He also stated that, “if a person looks at the face of his or her parents with wrathful eyes, despite the fact that injustice was done to him or her by the parents, his or her salah (prayer) will not be accepted by God.”

According to one of the Hadith-e-Qudsi, the following is reported about the status of parents:

“God has commanded that if anybody prays equal to the invocations performed by the prophets, such prayers will do no good if that person has been cursed by his or her parents.”

It has also been related that the very first words which have been written on the Lauh-e-Mahfuz (The Heavenly Preserved Tablet) are:

“I am God, and there is no deity except Me. I am pleased with those with whom their parents are pleased, and I am displeased with those with whom their parents are displeased.”

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is reported to have said: “On the Day of Judgment, my person will not be seen by those who drank liquor, those who on hearing my name did not invoke the blessings of God on me, or those who were cursed and disowned by their parents.”

‘Ali ibn al-Husain (ra) is reported to have said: “The right of your mother on you is that you should know that nobody could endure the trouble and the conditions under which she protected you and nourished you with the juice of her life, and tried with her heart and soul to satisfy all your needs in relation to hunger, thirst, dress, etc. She passed sleepless nights, suffering anxieties. She provided you with shelter against heat and cold, and protected you from ailments. It is not possible for you to compensate her, or thank her enough for all the services, except that God may give you guidance for that. The right of your father on you is that you should know that it is he who brought you into existence, and you are a branch of the tree of his life.”

According to a reliable tradition, it is related that a man came to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and asked him to whom he should render kindness. The prophet told him to be kind to his mother. Three times he put the same question to the prophet, and three times he got the same answer. When he asked the question the fourth time, he was told to be kind to his father, indicating that the mother’s right took precedence over that of the father.

Parents’ duties: Islam has assigned certain duties to parents that they must fulfill. If they fail in those, they will be questioned about it. Besides providing the basic necessities of life, Islam requires that the parents teach their children about the Oneness of God, the Quranic commandments, values, the Prophets and their teachings, and the moral code of Islam as according to the Quran and the Sunnah (teachings) of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).

Let us pray to God that He guide us to be respectful, kind, and obedient to our parents, and that we continue to show them humility regardless of the power, position, wealth, and influence we may possess. Let us also pray that we be patient, kind, thoughtful, and friendly with our children, as we guide them through their lives, and that we discharge our responsibilities towards them as required by our religion, so that God may be pleased with us, and may He Bless and reward us, both in this world and in the Hereafter.  Ameen.

In America there are many special days set aside to honor and appreciate special people. Some of these are: Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Grandfather’s Day, Grandmother’s Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, etc. We do realize the significance of these occasions and we recognize the ideas, ideals, and philosophies of such days. We appreciate the efforts of those who initiated these occasions for the recognition and appreciation of special people.

As for the appreciation of parents, we admire the efforts of children who remember their parents on such occasions by sending them greeting cards and gifts. However, we hope that the appreciation is not for one single day in a year, but for every day throughout the year.

PARENTS IN QURAN

A child should respect and appreciate his or her parents every day throughout the year. Allah has asked human beings to recognize their parents after recognition of Allah Himself. Throughout the Quran, we notice that parents are mentioned with appreciation and with respect, even if they are senile. In Surah Al-Isra’ (Children of Israel) there is a very beautiful description of how parents are to be treated. Allah says:

“Your Lord had decreed, that you worship none save Him, and (that you show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with you, say not “Fie” unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both, as they did care for me when I was young.”   [Quran 17:23-24]

The recognition and respect of parents is mentioned in the Quran eleven times; in every instance, Allah reminds children to recognize and to appreciate the care and love they have received from their parents. In the following verse, Allah demands that children recognize their parents:

“We have enjoined on humankind kindness to parents.”  [Quran 29:8 and 46:15]

1.   The demand for recognizing parents is made more emphaticly when Allah says in the Quran:

“And (remember) when We made a covenant with the children of Israel, (saying): worship none save Allah (only), and be good to parents…” [Quran 2:83]

2.   In Surah Al-Nisaa’ (The Women) Allah  emphasizes again that children should be kind to their parents.

“And serve Allah. Ascribe nothing as partner unto Him. (Show) Kindness unto parents… “[Quran 4:36]

3.   The same directive is repeated again In Surah Al An’Am (The Cattle), where Allah  says:

“Say: Come, I will recite unto you that which your Lord has made a sacred duty for you; that you ascribe nothing as partner unto Him and that you do good to parents…” [Quran 6:151}

MOTHERS

Although Islam has clear directives to honor and respect both parents, mothers are given particular gratitude and respect. This attitude of Islam is understood if we realize the hardships and the suffering that mothers experience in their lives. In this regard, Prophet Muhammad  said:

It was narrated by Abu Hurairah (R) that a man came to the Prophet  and asked him, ‘Who is to be close to my friendship?’ The Prophet  answered:

Your mother, your mother, your mother, then your father, then the one closest to your kinship, and the one after.

Islam has endorsed respect for parents by their children even if the parents are non-Muslims. Only if parents coerce their children against Islam, then the children have the right not to obey their parents, but they are still to be good to them. In this regard, Allah  says in Surah Luqman:

“And We have enjoined upon man concerning his parents–his mother beareth him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years–Give thanks unto Me and unto your parents. Unto Me is the journeying. But if they strive with you to make you ascribe unto Me as partner that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Consort with them in the world kindly, and follow the part of him who repents unto Me. Then unto Me will you return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.–” [Quran 31:14-15]

MORE RESPECT

Islam teaches us that respect for parents comes immediately after praying to Allah and before Jihad (struggle and striving in the way of Allah). In this respect, the Prophet  said the following:

Narrated by Abi Abder Rahman Abdullah bin Massoud (May Allah be pleased with him) saying: I asked the Prophet , “which deed is more liked by Allah?” He replied, “Prayers on time.” Then I asked, “Which one is next?” He said, “Goodness to parents.” Then I asked, “Then which one is next?” He said, “Jihad in the way of Allah.” (Agreed)

In Islam, respect for parents is so great that the child and his wealth are considered to be the property of the parents. In this regard, the Prophet  said:

Narrated by Aisha that a person came to the Prophet  to resolve his dispute with his father regarding a loan given to the father. The Prophet  said to the person, “You and your wealth are to your father.”

FINAL REMARKS

We hope and we pray that all of us will respect our parents while they are alive and even after they pass-away. You may honor your parents after they die through the following methods:

1. Make daily Du’a (prayer) for them

2. Give a charity on their behalf

3. Institute a perpetual charity on their behalf – such as a Masjid, an Islamic Center, an Islamic Library, an Islamic hospital, an orphanage, a senior citizen’s home, etc.

4. Perform Hajj on their behalf or ask someone to do so.

5. Read Quran on their behalf

6. Distribute Islamic Literature on their behalf

Let us pray to Allah that we will do our best to respect our parents, to honor them, to be kind to them, to help them, and to please them for the love of Allah.

O Allah! Accept our humble prayers and make us obedient servants to you.

O Allah! Help us to be respectful children to our parents. Ameen.