There are 5 types of children:

1. Does not do what his parents order him (this type is ‘aaq – i.e. undutiful/disobedient [which is one of the seven majors sins])

2. Does what his parents tell but is displeased with it (this type does not gain any reward)

3. Does what he is told but follows it up by raising his voice, or mentioning those favors [e.g. I have done so much for you, I am always doing ‘xyz’ for you..] (this type earns a sin)

4. Does what he is told, willingly and happily (this type is rewarded), and they are few.

5. Does what his parents want before he is even told (this is the type which is al-baar al-muwafaq i.e. dutiful and kind to his parents and is given the ability to be successful in all his affairs), and they are rare.

As for the last two types, don’t ask about the barakah [blessings Allah puts in person’s time, wealth, health, efforts etc. whereby it increases, multiplies or a lot of good comes from something little] they will have in their life, and the vast provision (rizq i.e. wealth, knowledge, health etc. Allah gives them); and how much their hearts will be at rest; and the ease they will find in all their affairs [due to being dutiful to their parents].

The difficult question for every person is – what type of child are you?

Don’t think that by simply kissing the forehead or hands, or even the feet of your parents, that you have attained their ultimate pleasure..m Ask yourself – what is al-Birr (being dutiful and kind towards one’s parents)?

… Al-birr is to recognize what is in the heart of your parents and act upon it without waiting for an instruction.

Al-birr is knowing what makes them happy, then racing towards doing it; and understanding what hurts them, then striving that they don’t ever see it from you!

Al-birr could be in something that you feel your parents desire, and you bring it to them, even a cup of tea..

Al-birr is that you ensure the comfort of your parents, even at the cost of your own happiness; so if you staying out late will cause them worry and stress, then you sleeping early is part of your birr (kindness) towards them.

Al-birr is that you miss a party that you are invited to when you feel, even for a second, that your staying out late will cause then worry and stress.

Al-birr is to plan a surprise Umrah or Hajj trip for your parents and arranging for them a nice hotel which they deserve!

Al-birr is to cheer up your parents – at an age where (for them) there does not remain a lot which brings them joy and happiness…

Al-birr is to spend abundantly
on your parents from your wealth even if they posses millions, without thinking twice about how much they own or whether they need it; for everything you have is only because of their hard work, and sleepless nights which they spent looking after you..

Al-birr is to look for their comfort, and not let them exert effort to make you comfortable, for it is enough how much strived for your sake already…

There are many ways for al-birr which lead to al-Janah (Paradise), so don’t restrict it to a single kiss on the forehead which may be followed up by many shortcomings…

و قَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

{And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment.} (Quran 17:23)