Quick Checklist To Access If You Are Ready For Marriage!

❋ Would you marry someone like you? Someone who speaks like you, looks physically like you, behaves like you, communicates like you, has knowledge of deen like you, is active in community like you? If nope then change whatever it is that you donot like about yourself before getting married to someone else.

✓ If you suffer from temper issues do not expect a spouse who will have zero temper issues.

✓ If you have an unhealthy body and unhealthy eating habits do not expect your spouse to be fit with six packs or someone who looks like a runway model.

✓ If you do not care about your hygiene, skin, hair, nails do not expect your spouse to smell like hoor al ayn.

✓ If you are someone who is lax with opposite gender do not expect your spouse to be strict about his or her interactions with others as well.

❋ Are you in touch with your ex while hunting for proposals? You cannot do that. You have to completely shut down one chapter and open the next one. This also involves excessive repentance since affairs are not allowed in Islam. And if you jump from one person to another without sincere repentance for what you did you will see a glaring lack of barakah and happiness in your life. If this is your present state you will from the get go enter marriage with emotional cheating.

❋ Can you sit and communicate things well with your parents and make them understand what you want and donot want in life? If you cannot even communicate well with your own parents and family forget communicating with your future spouse. Things will suck big time after marriage where communication, understanding and empathy are way tougher.

❋ Are you a good listener and someone who listens to understand and work together to find a solution when a conflict arises? Or are you too busy acting like a victim and thinking the entire world is plotting against you?

❋ Are you someone who can accept mistakes and make amends or are you scared of accepting you are wrong and you just make delusional stories and play blame games?

❋ ESPECIALLY FOR MEN – You have to be strong enough to talk to the wali of the woman you are approaching and be ready for rejections. Do not get involved in haraam things fearing rejection or facing the wali and family of the woman. This is the Islamic way. A Muslim man who wants to marry a Muslim woman approaches and gets to know a prospective in the presence of a wali not through a backdoor or window. The latter is haraam, unethical, very unmanly and off-putting.

❋ Be open and make it a point to get pre marital counselling. Precaution is better than cure and counselling or shuarah is an Islamic concept. Listen to the advice of your parents and elders. No matter how much you think they do not know you they do know you.

❋ Involving parents is very important but at the same time it is equally important to not blur your own expectations or let your parents expectations override what you want in a spouse.

❋ Islam protects us MIND, BODY AND SOUL. Be balanced in your approach. If you like someone do not shy away from approaching them.

THE ANSWER WILL ALWAYS BE “NO” IF YOU NEVER ASK. 

Find people who find same things beneficial and enjoyable.
If you are highly active in a community or charity do not marry someone who is not at all interested in these things.
If you are passionate about gaining knowledge or reading or are interested in politics do not marry someone who considers all this a waste of time.
If you are active and outgoing do not marry someone who wants you to stay at home.

❋ DEEN IS A PRIORITY ABOVE LOVE. 

If deen and Allah is not a constant in someone’s life no matter how much they love you the relationship will fail. Muslim marriages are meant to increase love of Allah and help us be on the right guided path.
If you are someone who offers 5 salaah and prays duha and wakes up for tahajjud donot marry someone who doesn’t offer salaah at all. The love you have will very quickly fade into resentment and result in loss of respect.

At the same time it is very important that offering salaah doesn’t automatically make someone a good Muslim. We all know of men with beards and salaah marks on forehead who abuse their womenfolk. Beard or hijaab is a not a ticket to the jannah.
Check their akhlaaq, their generosity, how they treat women at home, what kind of friends do they have, how do they spend their time, will they be hands on husbands and more importantly fathers. Are they joking about polygyny? Do they confuse the responsibility of being a qawwam with a free ticket to being a dictator at home. How do they react during stress or when faced with a hardship or failure in life?

❋ The person you are supposed to marry should invoke a sense of SAKEENAH and tranquility in you. This is the man or woman you can trust, they will not cheat you, they will not break your trust when it comes to money or responsibilities, they will never leave your side or run away when push comes to shove. Someone who helps you with emotional homeostasis.

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MARRY FOR DEEN AND PIETY AND YOU WILL BE THE WINNER. MAY ALLAH BLESS THOSE WHO MARRY FOR PIETY.
– Prophet Muhammad ﷺ